


I Love Your Mortal Sin

by hummingrightalong



Series: Kinda Slow Burn [4]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sex in the woods, past relationship trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 10:59:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16763824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingrightalong/pseuds/hummingrightalong
Summary: Jesus and Aaron have been screwing around for a while, things start to get serious. Aaron has been completely open about his past, and Paul feels like it's his turn.





	I Love Your Mortal Sin

**Author's Note:**

> Took the artistic license on Jesus' past because he appears to not have one canonically. Hope you like it.

Aaron had thrown the man off a horse, and really thought he’d taken the little imp by surprise. But of course he was back up in less than a fraction of a second, and doing it with a flair. Stunning. Truly stunning.

Speaking of, there’s a few cheap shots; to the knees, to the guts, Paul is brutal in his assault but even so Aaron knows he’s taking it easy on him. He’s fucking laughing...so Aaron goes for it, goes for anything that might ring the shorter man’s bell if the swing catches. It does. 

For a moment Aaron’s guts twist in a knot, watching the man he’s been getting to know and getting more than a little interested in, who was kind enough to help him learn to defend himself with maybe at least half the grace that Paul possesses from his own training. 

But it was just a fake out, and those beautiful eyes look somewhere between excited and apologetic when he takes him down. 

The fight is won. Over that quick again. 

And then...Jesus jumps him (inside he’s laughing at it, perverse and heretical as it is). Outside, “I thought this was about you teaching me to fight!” Aaron protests.

“I am! I'm teaching you to...not die. but I also want-” The martial artist shoves the taller man towards a nearby line of trees.

“-For me to fuck you in the woods.”

“- For you to fuck me in the woods.” They both conclude. Paul nods emphatically and Aaron isn’t exactly going to argue. Yeah, Paul isn’t the kind of guy he’d have found himself once upon a time but even with slim pickings in the apocalypse, there's something about him that drives his libido crazy. He has a child, waiting for him at home but with Paul pawing at his clothes, wrapping himself around the taller man like a fucking python and kissing him until his lungs are starved for oxygen...he wishes he were a good enough man to care that he wouldn’t mind if this is the way he leaves this world.

“Find a tree,” Paul says, breathless. Then, with some consideration, “A sturdy one this time. Remember the one we broke?” Paul is grinning, already shrugging off the leather duster and setting it over the horse’s back. 

He loves that Aaron actually blushes, although it’s evident he remembers that day fondly. Very obvious in fact. Still, being the nice guy he is he’s, of course, turned red as a tomato.

That tree had termites or some...tree disease. but-” Aaron rambles on, but Paul is already stripping *right there*, winking as the taller man takes in the sight. 

“Yeah, you know, you can be proud of yourself.”

“Why always in the woods? And what's with all the trees?” Aaron asks, getting out of his shirt before the little shit jumps him, wrapping his legs around his waist.

“I like trees, isn’t it obvious?” Practically nose to nose, Paul groans and grinds their hips together, his lovely blue eyes (almost a little green sometimes - especially times like these) are penetrating Aaron’s soul, he thinks. “You wanna lay me out nice in the field in the flowers and make love to me?” Hungry kisses and the way his leather gloved hands paw madly at him reminds the bigger man just a bit and not for the first time, of being attacked by a rabid squirrel…’Jesus’ was always a bit like that. It was hard not to take the lord’s name in vain, though, as all his ‘sexy’ buttons are pushed and the man in his arms remarks at his strength again.

“Maybe a little…” His response is met with lengthy silence that makes him nervous. There was always *so much* life in the other man, so man energy, it was hard to keep up and the former politician did sometimes worry that he wasn’t exciting enough to the mysterious man he’d been ‘hooking up’ with. He’d never ‘hooked up’ with anyone. He hoped he wasn’t the only one that wanted more than just that.

“Um...ok…” Finally, he says something. It’s Jesus’ turn to blush, tucking a strand of hair that had come loose in the scuffle behind an ear. 

“Something we should talk about?” Aaron thinks the idea of the man man being shy at the mention of making love, of not having the kind of sex that knocks down trees, is maybe a red flag. At least something they should talk about before- anything happens.

“My ex...it was…”

“Passionate?” It's so damn cute how polite he tries to be...even when he's sweaty and breathing hard and turned on and 2 seconds away from saying to hell with the delicate flower bed.

“Yeah. something like that. But you're you. so ok. I can give vanilla a try.” Aaron laughs, shaking his head. Leather gloves say something and he's not sure what it is. Then he's kissing him again. Fucking *gently*, easily lifting him off the ground and shit that is so his fucking thing.

Something occurs to Aaron as he tosses a blanket (Paul has no idea where that came from) on to the ground flattens it out. He pulls Paul down to lie next to him but doesn't let him kiss him.

“Your ex. Am I your boyfriend...like not ex kinda thing.”

“Well you're definitely not my ex but you're gonna be if you dont-”

Paul is silenced with a kiss, and a different fight begins. The idea of ‘making love’ isn’t exactly the smaller mans cup of tea, and every touch is a bit rough, the gloves literally never coming off.

While they’re both trying to get Aaron out of his pants, Paul is breathless, begging for him to hurry up and find the lube. The latter still has a trick up his own sleeve- one more test. He’s laughing when he subtly takes a hunting knife from the sheath on his belt, making an attempt to slash at the metal prosthetic- which is deflected to a short round of not-so-sarcastic applause. 

“Seriously, *are* you trying to kill me?” The question is met with a shrug, then a giggle when it’s quickly followed by “‘cause I wouldn’t mind.”

“I’m going to mind if you take any damn longer, *come on*,” Paul demands, taking matters into his own hands, throwing his head back and *swear to god* (hah) calling out his own name while he puts himself on display, legs spread as he fingers himself. The pace is fast and desperate and they never lose eye contact. 

Aaron thinks he might lose his own religion when the other man decides he’s done with that, wants something more, and pulls his ‘tree’ on top of himself, one leg hooked around his waist, the heel of his foot digging into Aaron’s back while he grasps his dick and holds him in position. Using his as a not so subtle hint he controls every (gentle as possible on the other man’s part) thrust, still looking gorgeous and perfectly wrecked while Aaron hopes he can continue to keep up with this man. Because he really does like him, and he kinda loves this in spite of his earlier...protests.

***  
The next night, the next time they really have the opportunity to get on with the conversation they’d started in the woods, Aaron presses for more details.

“You know plenty enough about me, so what was your life like before all this...end of the world nonsense?” He’s trying for nonchalant but there’s way too much intent lying there in wait and Paul is suspicious…”What did you do? What was your family like? You said your friends - “ and he was obviously suspicious for a damn good reason.

“It isn’t what my life was like before, it’s why am I the way I am? Who made me like this?” He demands. Aaron looks ashamed and he feels a bit bad but come the fuck on, was this his idea of pillow talk? “That’s what i thought.”

“Ok, maybe that was the wrong way to - “ Paul covers Aaron’s mouth, shaking his head.

“Shut your politician mouth. Not this time. Don’t try to bullshit some polite way around having to say, ‘hey, Jesus, I’ve noticed during our usual fucked up outings - that I am 50% responsible for by the fucking way - that you might be a little messed up in the head. Care to share?’”

“I'm not fucking Eric! I'm me. and you're not *him*, you're you, and color me fucking surprised, I'm good with that. Before this? I was an asshole, ok? Because looking this good, I could be. I was vain and rude and egotistical. The fucking apocalypse had to come along to make me a better person. Except I still miss my eyeliner and I still look like this because I’ve always had low self esteem and because I was pissed off at the world for orphaning me, so I wanted to act like every other queer little cliche.”

Aaron wants to object to the 'queer cliche' but lets it be. He can definitely understand being angry at the world for not accepting him. His mother had not taken his coming out well, but he’d never been ashamed, and he and Eric had never backed down no matter how much hell people tried to give them, professionally and personally. “But you’re a good guy, a great guy, and that shit that happened to you doesn’t make you who you are.” 

Oh man did he have no idea, which was sweet, really it was, and after Paul got it all out he hoped that this nice guy still liked him. Because before the apocalypse, when the world was safe and made sense he loved the chaos, wanted to watch the whole goddamn world burn. Now that every day was a fight for your life and *nothing* (least of all the dead getting back up and walking around) made sense. 

Aaron always made sense though, always had the right thing to say. He’d gone the right way, gone to college and fought the man, fought for his rights, right alongside another stupidly decent person. They’d made a life and all that was gone and that sucked. 

“No, listen, I liked it when he treated me like shit, honest to God, I did. I got high on the drama. He cheated on me, like on a fucking schedule...I swear the second week of every other month I knew to expect it. We'd fight, just for the make up sex cause that's what our relationship was. Drama. And that's so fucked. But I'm a better person now. I have my moments where I almost slip back to full on shallow douchebag but...I'll try even harder. If you want. Cause I like you for some stupid reason.”

“I like you too, I think I might love you. So tell me everything, no judgements. I just want to know.”

“You want to know me, or who I was before?”

“Both, everything.” Aaron looked so damn sincere. He was a determined man too, Jesus would give him that. It’s just how determined would he be if he stopped just feeling sort of bad for him (like he obviously did) and really *knew* every facet of Paul. Now, and back then.

Paul sighs, relaxes a little. Fine. He really wants to know? EVERYTHING? Ok.

“His name was Alex but he insisted everyone call him Alec. With a ‘C’. And he called me Jesus like a some sexy sacrilege…”

“Ugh,” The other man says, immediately feeling the need to explain that his disgust was for this Alex/Alec and not Paul. “That had to be irritating.”

“Not even the half of it. He wore a pentagram and never knew what it meant. He slit his wrists twice, the wrong way, for attention, and he'd tell me I was smothering him and criticize every fucking thing I did but fucking craved me and he hated it, hated me for it. Loved to hate me for it.”

“So this guy...you know that the occasional snuggles after all that drama and pain he caused you...it’s very much like gaslighting.” Paul shrugs.

“Maybe. You wanna know what I was before all this? Who I was? I faked credentials from cosmetology school cause I didn't graduate. Was too high on x, getting choked out by my boyfriend who I loved so fucking much it hurt and then we'd fuck til we couldn't move, perfect excuse to sleep ‘til 2 in the afternoon, right? I was fucking great at my job though, thank you very fucking much, real life photo shop good. And he'd bitch cause of my long hours and make sure I caught him with another man in our bed. Sometimes another woman just to piss me off and prove I meant so little to him that he'd go to the dark side. I'd throw a fit, right on que, lit the mattress on fire once, they had to evacuate the building...then he'd beg me to take him back.

“Oh my God…”

And there it is. The pity. He used to play the victim for show but he was never a fucking victim. 

“*Don't* do that, dammit. I was a goddamn pariah. And I'm not anymore. And I loved to hate myself before but I love loving myself now. That's the before, this is the after. Take it or leave it. You wanna be my boyfriend? Ok. You can fuck me in the flowers but I'm me. I've always been me and I’m never going to be Eric or anything like him. So you better still fuck me against a tree every once in a while. I can get used to this - I adapt. I can love this. But I have needs too and it hasn't been stopping you so far - and I've never met such a fucking repressed queer btw - so don't act like you don't like it too. Compromise is not a thing I've done in a relationship. I'll compromise for you though.”

“Cause you like me.” Finally Aaron reached out to him, tried to hold him tight but like he’d just said...no fucking pity...he didn’t want it or need it. Attention. Adoration. That he’d keep though. He flops back against Aaron’s chest and tilts his head back to stare pointedly at the taller man. *Ahem, pet ME*, the whole body language screamed it. 

The former politician smirks and does as he’s *told*, shaking out the man bun carefully and running his fingers through that hair. He leans forward and kisses him on the forehead, grabs his hand and gently squeezes, kisses that too. Puts everything he can into conveying that he adores this man as much as he says he does. That he’s ready to move on and optimistic about the partner he’s found.

“I like you. A lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> My <3 lflssfrghtnng.tumblr.com gave me the plot bunnies and a lot of great dialogue. 
> 
> Title inspired by "No Feeling" by The Sex Pistols


End file.
